Just picture it: You’re sitting at home, drinkin’ a Blatz, chopping up a stolen Harley-Davidson—noises from “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader” are probably wafting through the air—and, of course, your trusty Streetsweeper 12-gauge stands guard nearby, maybe resting on broken TV in the corner.
Then, BANG! The FBI bursts in—along with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives; South Carolina’s York County Multi-jurisdictional Drug Enforcement Unit; York County Sheriff; Rock Hill Police Department; and Fort Mill Police Department—and ruins your entire Wednesday afternoon, because, let’s face it, you’re an unemployed loser, most likely.
Such was the scene for a South Carolina man, one Wendell Ray Jenkins, in August 2009, as reported by South Carolina Online News. Those aforementioned Johnnies Law searched Jenkins’ home and found the stolen 2008 Harley-Davidson, and later in testimony Jenkins said he had obliterated the motorcycle’s identification numbers using a drill, and that he designed to chop the bike and sell the parts—an A-OK plan if you live by the code of the redneck.
And so United States Attorney William N. Nettles recently announced Jenkins was convicted by a federal grand jury in Columbia, S.C., on three counts: 1) conspiracy to destroy vehicle identification numbers on a Harley Davidson motorcycle and to distribute the parts; 2) obliteration of vehicle identification numbers on a Harley Davidson motorcycle; and 3) possession of motorcycle parts with destroyed identification numbers intending to sell those parts.
But wait—turns out Jenkins was also in trouble for not registering that Streetsweeper 12-gauge; he was probably unable to stash it in one of the many broken-down vehicles that surely littered his lawn before the cops arrived. So, he was also convicted of possession of an unregistered destructive device.
Mark one up for the legitimate purveyor of motorcycles and motorcycle parts & accessories.